Protection- and coping mechanisms
We learnt to hide our real self by putting a thick armory of protection barriers round it, a false self.
As a kid the protection- and coping mechanisms helped us to endure the pain of being hurt, rejected and ashamed. Or the child was over-protected and not allowed to make own experiences.
The disadvantage of these once very useful achievements in adult life is, that it cuts us off from our real self and our heart. Real intimacy and interpersonal connection is only possible, where there is no protection layer.
The ANS turns the protection- and coping mechanisms on or off. Often we do not even notice that we are ruled by our unconscious autopilot. When using those mechanism, our Autonomic Nervous System is either in a hyper- or hypo-aroused state.
The kids protection- and coping mechanisms ensure that
- the caregivers could stay in their corridor of well-being, because the kids only behaved in a way that did not stress the caregiver. The kid did not get into troubles
- the kid got rid of inner conflicts by producing beliefs like " I do not deserve", "I am not worthy" or many more
Examples of protection- and coping mechanisms
Coping strategies:
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watching television
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drinking alcohol
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using drugs
Behavioral pattern
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perfectionism
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isolation
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controlling
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people pleasing
Trigger:
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once you were bitten by a dog. Now, as soon as you see a dog your body gets tens and you feel anxiety
Stress producing beliefs:
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I don't deserve, I am not worthy
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I have to be a good girl/boy, I have to please the others